Are we friends or are we not?
You told me once But I forgot
tell me now and tell me true
so can I say I’m here for you
Of all the friends I’ve ever met
Your the one I won’t forget
And if I die before you do
I’ll go to heaven And wait for you
And if you’re not there by judgement day
I’ll know you went the other way
I’ll give the angels Back their wings
And risk the loss Of everything
Just to prove my friendship is true
To have a friend like you
19 September, 2009
17 September, 2009
just hade to...
... will it still on my mind.
i read a artikel or more a blog about what Patrick Swayze hade meant for her. that she as the not pritty, big breasted girl hade the chans to get sometinh in teh futter even tough she was not their now. and that so tru. the best movie with him dirty dancing is the movei that make a girl know that even tough see might not be the best looking one. there is someone that will see her and maby not say but still prov that *no one puts baby in the corner*. that is the best coment ever in a movie. that someone will see you some were and will prove that you are not going to be in that corner eny more.
for me it was a friend that took me out ot the coorner. and now other that make me sty out of it. so the commen that no one puts baby in the corner is not only the boy find the girl but also that it gives al hope that somone somehow will take us out of the corner. and Patrick Swayze is helping us see that in this movie.
he will always be remember for that part. and for me when i as a comeon in the dirty dansing to wher he one again plays the danstecher that help the girl in the corner. not in a romantic way but to prov that she can be what she want to be.
the frase not in the corner will live on for ever and give al the girl and boys the belive that they can get out of the corne and that glimts on hope!
i read a artikel or more a blog about what Patrick Swayze hade meant for her. that she as the not pritty, big breasted girl hade the chans to get sometinh in teh futter even tough she was not their now. and that so tru. the best movie with him dirty dancing is the movei that make a girl know that even tough see might not be the best looking one. there is someone that will see her and maby not say but still prov that *no one puts baby in the corner*. that is the best coment ever in a movie. that someone will see you some were and will prove that you are not going to be in that corner eny more.
for me it was a friend that took me out ot the coorner. and now other that make me sty out of it. so the commen that no one puts baby in the corner is not only the boy find the girl but also that it gives al hope that somone somehow will take us out of the corner. and Patrick Swayze is helping us see that in this movie.
he will always be remember for that part. and for me when i as a comeon in the dirty dansing to wher he one again plays the danstecher that help the girl in the corner. not in a romantic way but to prov that she can be what she want to be.
the frase not in the corner will live on for ever and give al the girl and boys the belive that they can get out of the corne and that glimts on hope!
10 September, 2009
honey
i have read i friend blog and you are making me want to come home. you need to have a hug and sometinh to make your head stop messing with you. the problem is that i recognis what i read. that was me, so I wish that i hade a solution. that i could sa do this but i cant. that not how it works. you need to find something that makes i go away. no one can do that for you. tha thing is that i dont know how to do it. i needed to get far way form my old life to change. i dont think that you need that. i think that you need to find that spark that makes you se that you are butifull in everway. both inside and you. you say that you are alwasy their for me and i know that tru. but are you their for your self? do you realy think about you and what is important to you. i get the feeling you want to. and try,but then one of us that you are always their for take that energy that you wher puting in to you on us. maby im wrong i dont know. but if im right. maby you need to se who and why you dont put the most important one first. and that is you and only you! the one that need to be hole to be stong for others.
...
well i have been thinking on many tings lately. my mind have been mesing with me. i have hade the feeling that im not enough, that i cant do what im doing and still feeling hole.
i have a woundefull boyfriend that i some times feel i dont deserv. he cares for me more then i do for him. thats fine i guess, but not when i feel i dont give him with he deserves. he should have someone that can be their. that are aroun and not gose for what she wants. because that what im doing, and even though i have not alwayse been this strong in my self and happy with who i am, i have alwayas gone after what i want. i have never lost the goal to become a marinebiologis and to one day work with my orca, and no matter what i need to do i will work with them some day. and then the though come to me that some how its wrong to have him. i have feeling for him, more then i have ever hade for enyone. but some how that dose not feel enough. because i will not let go of this dream. i can stay her and work, i have to go away, work with the ocean. in the ocean. will it be us for that? will he be able to come with me? and if not, im i not only keeping him from finding someone to speend his life with? i know he want to be with me, and i want to have him. but if im keeping him from the reall future itsent that wrong of me? so some time i have the though of leting him go. to give him the chanse to finde the right girl. the one that can give him what he deverves. i feel so gready to keep him with this comfused mind and future. but i will not. hemakes me smile, and happy. so then the last problem is that what if i never get feeling for him that are around what he feels for me? the coment one have said. i have mist to see in you the first love sings. i haven seen the inlove part. and i dont know if this i how i am in love, or if im not able to fall like that. i mean. some people dont show feeling like that. i though it would be seen from a mil a way that im in love. but maby not. or i dont know. maby is hould just nit care,but i cant do that either, because that not me. i know who i am now. and i not losing her.
but that not al that on my mind. other stuff is that i feel empty when i think about what i miss and have lost some how. the friend i though would always be their some how in my life, and im in hers. i tried some to se her, maby not enuogh i know. you can always do more. but with no respond i feel that ist not on me. i just wish that i didn't have to end like that.7 years and no god reason more then my bad way of teeling her how i have feelt. i didn't want to los her. i wanted her to know the real me. it was my fault that i was not my self with her even thoug i started to findmy self. i hade doubts about over friendship befor that. but i never wanted to lose her. but maby that the best, because we were not friend for the later years, not since i moved for my studys, but she is a part and a big reason i am who i am. so not have her anymore is hard. to see the photos and movies of her babe and know that if i hade keept on keeping my tru self from her untill i got home i might have been able to see them, and get a better closer of ower life togehter. i should take al of the reminder awy, but i still love here (you if you are reading this). and i hurt to lose you,i have not emitted that untill now. but it always hurt to los someone.
and speking of losing someone. i have two that i hate to know i will lose in the future. i will not go in to them now because then i will cry. but they are on my mind alot.
but i relised today on my long walk that im happy that i can do that. that i can walk around free and do what i want. i saw an old lady walking with her walker. and that made me think that we take so much for granted, and that makes so many people sitt on their as and do noting. or go to a center to run on a machine.their is nature not far way. it cant take any longer to get their then to a center.yes if you can dp in in day light you dont what to be out runing in the dark i can see that. but during the summer their is light to go around al day long. and then some people woldu say that their are rapers otu their for us women to be woring about. take someone with you then. or have some protecion. i walk with the keys in my hand everytime. not only as a protection but also that i dont like to have them in the pants. they are annoying. but i can get a rection if i dont realise someone is coming up behinde me. i have musik in my ears so i can hear them. but i think that we have to stop taking things for granted. the freedom we have we should enjoy. and we still live in a contery that have a great freedom for al.
so now i shuld stop. im going from and idiot to sentimental to some stupid statment of freedom. as i said my brain is messing with me. and i cant controll it. i hope i dont endup hurting me or someone els to much when its going on.
i have a woundefull boyfriend that i some times feel i dont deserv. he cares for me more then i do for him. thats fine i guess, but not when i feel i dont give him with he deserves. he should have someone that can be their. that are aroun and not gose for what she wants. because that what im doing, and even though i have not alwayse been this strong in my self and happy with who i am, i have alwayas gone after what i want. i have never lost the goal to become a marinebiologis and to one day work with my orca, and no matter what i need to do i will work with them some day. and then the though come to me that some how its wrong to have him. i have feeling for him, more then i have ever hade for enyone. but some how that dose not feel enough. because i will not let go of this dream. i can stay her and work, i have to go away, work with the ocean. in the ocean. will it be us for that? will he be able to come with me? and if not, im i not only keeping him from finding someone to speend his life with? i know he want to be with me, and i want to have him. but if im keeping him from the reall future itsent that wrong of me? so some time i have the though of leting him go. to give him the chanse to finde the right girl. the one that can give him what he deverves. i feel so gready to keep him with this comfused mind and future. but i will not. hemakes me smile, and happy. so then the last problem is that what if i never get feeling for him that are around what he feels for me? the coment one have said. i have mist to see in you the first love sings. i haven seen the inlove part. and i dont know if this i how i am in love, or if im not able to fall like that. i mean. some people dont show feeling like that. i though it would be seen from a mil a way that im in love. but maby not. or i dont know. maby is hould just nit care,but i cant do that either, because that not me. i know who i am now. and i not losing her.
but that not al that on my mind. other stuff is that i feel empty when i think about what i miss and have lost some how. the friend i though would always be their some how in my life, and im in hers. i tried some to se her, maby not enuogh i know. you can always do more. but with no respond i feel that ist not on me. i just wish that i didn't have to end like that.7 years and no god reason more then my bad way of teeling her how i have feelt. i didn't want to los her. i wanted her to know the real me. it was my fault that i was not my self with her even thoug i started to findmy self. i hade doubts about over friendship befor that. but i never wanted to lose her. but maby that the best, because we were not friend for the later years, not since i moved for my studys, but she is a part and a big reason i am who i am. so not have her anymore is hard. to see the photos and movies of her babe and know that if i hade keept on keeping my tru self from her untill i got home i might have been able to see them, and get a better closer of ower life togehter. i should take al of the reminder awy, but i still love here (you if you are reading this). and i hurt to lose you,i have not emitted that untill now. but it always hurt to los someone.
and speking of losing someone. i have two that i hate to know i will lose in the future. i will not go in to them now because then i will cry. but they are on my mind alot.
but i relised today on my long walk that im happy that i can do that. that i can walk around free and do what i want. i saw an old lady walking with her walker. and that made me think that we take so much for granted, and that makes so many people sitt on their as and do noting. or go to a center to run on a machine.their is nature not far way. it cant take any longer to get their then to a center.yes if you can dp in in day light you dont what to be out runing in the dark i can see that. but during the summer their is light to go around al day long. and then some people woldu say that their are rapers otu their for us women to be woring about. take someone with you then. or have some protecion. i walk with the keys in my hand everytime. not only as a protection but also that i dont like to have them in the pants. they are annoying. but i can get a rection if i dont realise someone is coming up behinde me. i have musik in my ears so i can hear them. but i think that we have to stop taking things for granted. the freedom we have we should enjoy. and we still live in a contery that have a great freedom for al.
so now i shuld stop. im going from and idiot to sentimental to some stupid statment of freedom. as i said my brain is messing with me. and i cant controll it. i hope i dont endup hurting me or someone els to much when its going on.
03 September, 2009
well its not a month
but the time to sitt down and be alone to write here have not been many. i have been think about it but not more then that becasue if im only babling away whats the point?
so here i go again, im will babel away. becasue im mest up. i have the life i want. im studing and will soon be done with my uni. and have the master in marinebiologi.
i have a good education in min diving and their fore the world is open to me to work. i have friends al over the world that i will love to visit. and i dont know were i will work but that okej. the goal is to work with my orcas on day. and still im not happy with that. because i want to be thier when family and friends have good momenst, be able to give them a hug and say im so happy for you, this we have to celibrate. but i cant. i wasn't their when my sister got engede. i was not their when a friend hade her babe. i was not their to suport my sister during hard times.
and that is how my life will be. i will not be their in that way. i know what you said C that im thier anyway. but sometime thats not enugh. i want to give them the hugs when the good or bad news come. i want to be thier for al of my friend, be thier and say congrtulations to the babie or engagment or even marrige. i want to do that in persen not over the phone. but with my dream that is not posible. i know i cant have the cake and eat it. but pleace i still want to be their as a support. sometime to follow my dreams is hard, i have feelt that so many times and that feeling of not being able to be their is growing. i will never abanden my dreams that would get me killed. but the feeling of not being their is hard to.
so here i go again, im will babel away. becasue im mest up. i have the life i want. im studing and will soon be done with my uni. and have the master in marinebiologi.
i have a good education in min diving and their fore the world is open to me to work. i have friends al over the world that i will love to visit. and i dont know were i will work but that okej. the goal is to work with my orcas on day. and still im not happy with that. because i want to be thier when family and friends have good momenst, be able to give them a hug and say im so happy for you, this we have to celibrate. but i cant. i wasn't their when my sister got engede. i was not their when a friend hade her babe. i was not their to suport my sister during hard times.
and that is how my life will be. i will not be their in that way. i know what you said C that im thier anyway. but sometime thats not enugh. i want to give them the hugs when the good or bad news come. i want to be thier for al of my friend, be thier and say congrtulations to the babie or engagment or even marrige. i want to do that in persen not over the phone. but with my dream that is not posible. i know i cant have the cake and eat it. but pleace i still want to be their as a support. sometime to follow my dreams is hard, i have feelt that so many times and that feeling of not being able to be their is growing. i will never abanden my dreams that would get me killed. but the feeling of not being their is hard to.
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