03 September, 2009

well its not a month

but the time to sitt down and be alone to write here have not been many. i have been think about it but not more then that becasue if im only babling away whats the point?

so here i go again, im will babel away. becasue im mest up. i have the life i want. im studing and will soon be done with my uni. and have the master in marinebiologi.
i have a good education in min diving and their fore the world is open to me to work. i have friends al over the world that i will love to visit. and i dont know were i will work but that okej. the goal is to work with my orcas on day. and still im not happy with that. because i want to be thier when family and friends have good momenst, be able to give them a hug and say im so happy for you, this we have to celibrate. but i cant. i wasn't their when my sister got engede. i was not their when a friend hade her babe. i was not their to suport my sister during hard times.

and that is how my life will be. i will not be their in that way. i know what you said C that im thier anyway. but sometime thats not enugh. i want to give them the hugs when the good or bad news come. i want to be thier for al of my friend, be thier and say congrtulations to the babie or engagment or even marrige. i want to do that in persen not over the phone. but with my dream that is not posible. i know i cant have the cake and eat it. but pleace i still want to be their as a support. sometime to follow my dreams is hard, i have feelt that so many times and that feeling of not being able to be their is growing. i will never abanden my dreams that would get me killed. but the feeling of not being their is hard to.

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