friends

some people my wounder why i have this name on my blogg. when i first heard this expresion i thought ya why not. then i meat friends and got this typ of friendship. i found that the real friendship is two bodys and one soul. and that is tru for al friendsships more or less. i have few realy cloes friend because i have big truble trusing people. I admit this, and i know some people think the know me better then they do, sorry for that but it is so easy to go back and hide the real feeling by smilling and laught it away. this might make you think do i now her? is she realy the girl i think or have she lied to me?
al of you that i say i love, you know me. my 3 angels in the states you 3 know me, my three C backhome you know me, alos my 4 C back home you have always know me from we were 3 and 4 years old. the 5.et C and A down under know me. my darling sisters you 2 know me now and alos mum ad dad know the most. E and L in hbg you know the most about who i am today. M you know me, we are on in so many aspecte, and that we always piktup were we left of is one of the things i love about you. and then we come to the reason im writing this you J.

we have been friends since we where 8 i think when we were swiming together. i dont know when we started together i know we always did see eachother al the time and during the summer playide some times. then we stop swiming and only meat eachother at hand-ball games and tournuments. i shuold have seen then that since you were going against you teammates and still was y friend even all the girls around you wanted me go. one more girl in you club did the same but that is a totaly different story! what i did not see then was that you have seen me always as i was. when we got to the swiming i was free to be me al the time. bullied at school i could escape in the water and what you dont think about is that the people around you see that and see you. you are one of the few that call me Ullis (only Rebecca do it to) because you 2 were their when that was what i alowed.
so why write this here and not in a email? i will emal you back but the email you sent me inspiers this. she said that she has been reding it al (yeah someone do read this shit im writing) and that she can see the change in me, and read between the lines that it have not always been easy. and it was then i realise how well she knowes me. that you have been their along the way and in the biger picure seen the change in me. we have not been close al the way but you know me better then i everthought maby even best of al because you have seen me from a distans. im not alowing you to be at a distans enymore as you know and we will meat up when im home again.
you also write that i was a insperation to you for chanigne my life and the why my life look now. that made me so happy and i could not stop smilling, you thankt me for being me what more can i be happy about? and the fact that you got me to see over relations and you are right we have always been friends, just because we have not seen eaxhother al the time dosent mean we were not friends. ower friendships have always been their, and i have always known that.

so what are the conlusions of this?
1) i know i have so many people in my life that makes it the best, and that i onetime could consider not having friends is something i hate myself fore. thank al of you how did not leav me when i was like that
2) friends are always their and they always sees you even thoug you are hiding. they can feel that you are truing to hide yourself but they dont alow that and endure that to keep you at you best.
3) im thankfull everyday to have al of you in my life, you give me even more reason to live and be happy.
4) i love al of you, you are more important to me then anyhing els. and dont forget i do anything to help al of you, to keep you happy and help you when you not are happy is the reason i exist.

and never forget we are al one soul and have over own body!!!!

im bad

i havenot been here in a few days, since i been wokrin and studying, but today i went down down and book a trip to the youngala the day befor my birthday. happy birthday me. i alos found a new bekini in yellow and me and frind alos went to sweethearst. it was fun:P
what i did not get was the dress i dream absout. i whant a dress that i can were everyday. that will be simple but still looks good. and if you have more makeup and neckleses it can be for party. as i said i do have alot of demands when it comes to this dress, but in the end i will alow myself to spend more money on it.

and to me. i have lost alot of weight at least to sizes and since the spex ended, and the last 1.5 is donw here. i love it.and my body, i hope it will keep going in this way.

well going to bed now. the head hates me to night.

again

im here insted of doing home work. im not motivated right now so writing here in sted of there is what im doing.

schools good, but need to win over the computers at uni. they don't let me get the stuff that the profs. put up. and you can get any other way. hate hate hate that.

but i should not do this i should be glueing drawing in to my workbook and drink my red bull. i have become coffein addict, i have at least one latte at school, and then something other with coffein during the day. it is bad i know, but i can't stop. so to night (7.10 pm) i will drink a redbull to stay up and get this shit over with. if im good i will be in bed before C come home from work (which is around 2am) wish me luke.

so back to the redbull and work book.

hmm

i have been irretade a bit the last few days, because how the people i love act. i mean it is not hard to call or text me if you miss me. i know i could be better at keeping contact but if you miss me, call or text or email. dont go to al the others teling them that you miss me and my voice, i hate the runing around and talking on what you whant insted of doing something about that your self. this is a part of the new me, i have not yet talk to any of you about it. i should but it means hurting a bit and i can't aslonges im in oz. but when i get home i will change it OK?

but then i got this from my dad today and i realised that my rections to the statmen above is stupid of me. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJMbk9dtpdY) i love my family and would do what this man is doing for the one he loves. i would do anything they ask even stay forever in sweden with them if that make them happy. my family is the most important thing i have, i thank every day that i have you. blood is thicker then water and blood is life. i share this with 4 people verry close. and then i have the other family the friends. you are al very special and i would not be the same with out you. friends are the family we pick and i cant have a better family then the one i have. love you al loads and thanks that you want to be in my life.

well enough about that. to the day. the talk to B wounderfull. the computers and internet at school the worst. i need artikles to mb and they are up on reserv online can i get them? NO!!!! i got the past exam after trying for 4 h and change computer. but the rest no. and i cant find them in web of sciens either becasue they must be to old or something. so the frustration grows bigger. and with al the other frustrations it is not strange that im on my way to explode. think i need to go out walking or be by the river. but the workbook need to be done i dont want to have it for last minute as always. but the computers is not helping.

well should stop complaing and the light of the day was to talk to you B, you made me smile and im looking forward to over house on the bahamas. can wait for it.

well should do someting on my workbook.
load of love to the lovely poeple i miss and love

time

since i have noting that makes me want to study so i write here insted:P

so today i got upp late beacuse we did not go to sleep untill 1.30 dam have to stop doing this:P so we got up at 10. 30. at 12 me chris and anne went to stokis for some shoping and a bostjuice:P and now o should study. but i endeup on line and was going to read the da vinci code, but got stuk talkting to people:P

but yestar day adn the reason that i did not go to sleep untill 1.30 was that me chris, anne and some other pople did see angels and demons. as always tom hanks did do a good jobb. and i love stellan skarsgård so it was a good movie. now i have to read the book. but i have it so i have to have the time for that.

well i should gp back to the pople that want to talk to me. or maby leav them for a book.
hehe

well...

since im back i should say why i stop and what im been up too, since it have been neraly 3 years.

i stop because there were so much going on in my life and i could not talk about it here. i was trying to figer out what was going on.

the result.

i stop taking to some people. started being whit others. and i figured out what i wanted with my studies and time around that. i got involved in teh spex 06 and were head of the stages in 07. alot of fun and alot of good friend were made.

then i hade a realy good friend that throwed applaying paper in my face to apply for studying abroad. that happend the fall 07. the spring 08 i got in to jcu in australia and after that everyting seemed to fall in to place. we lefter sweden for townsville in july 08. down here i have meet so many people that helpt me to see who i am. and i have been going through some big changes in how i are with people. i have look in to how i am and figured that out. and what was more suprising to me. i like how i am today and can look back at so much in the past with i smile now.
there is realy nothing that are having a big influens on me any more from the past.

so now im down in australia. and as you can see in the last blogg is that i want to stay here. and i want to go home. im going home in june to finish studys and al, and after that i dont know were i will end upp. what i know is that i want to come back here, i want to see my friend from last semster (might be going to norway this summar) and to have a big party for al of them (im turing 25 net yeras someone coming to my party then in sweden?)
well i think that is al for now.

no wait to day i have been at uni. hade a intressing prac in the cconservation. we were doing a class for 1-3 gaders to teach them about turtles. and then playing games etc. it was really funny, not that produtive but we were laughing alot, which always are good. and later i will go to the movies with a bunch of friends. it is weekend and my life is going good.

i miss the family, friend and al. but that is a sign that i have many peopel i care about and that make my life good.

im back..

okay. after hmmm. 2 years im back here. and now im going to try to be good at it. don't know if it will help but maby.why english? have so many new darling that i want to know whats going on in my life.so now im happy.i love my life and my self as i said so many times. but im still worried about some of the lovely ones. sis you are on my mind al the time and i hope you are okej. missy in the us, i want whats best for you. and about me. im good, but my mind is mesing with me. i want to stay in oz. i want to go home. i want to go to us, i want to stay. i want everything but can only get one of the at once. so the brain is messing, that gives a bit less sleep becasue i wake up during the night. but im trying to sleep.

well i have to go to bed now but will give you more whats going on to morrow.